I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now: The Five Realizations of Dating

You can rise above anything:  Look at heartbreak the same way you would a fresh wound. It hurts like absolute hell when it first happens; however, just like any cut, you find a way to conquer the pain and eventually, you’ll be healed and as good as new. It may not happen overnight but with due time— whether it’s weeks or months later, you will come to the realization that this time of struggle was a blessing in disguise. You were strong before they walked into your life, and you will continue to be after they leave. Rejection does not define you, nor does anyone else’s invalid opinion.

Not everyone is one and the same: It is important to understand that just because one person mistreated you in the past, it does not mean that everyone out there has those same intentions and will leave you blindsided. Once you tear down those walls you have built and let go of the fear that is holding you back, you’ll find yourself happier and in a much better place. Life is all about taking chances. Without risk, well, there is no vulnerability to begin with.

Don’t play the blame game: Sometimes the fire between two people simply burns out and no one is particularly at fault. People will grow as individuals and they will grow apart—that is simply the hidden beauty of it all. If someone doesn’t acknowledge the part they played in you feeling hurt, it doesn’t mean that you’re not entitled to feel that way. Do away with the “what ifs,” and stop thinking “if only…” Lift all of that excessive and negative weight off your shoulders and give yourself the closure you never received.

Everyone is deserving of love: Yes, even that person who once emotionally destroyed you. Look at it in this sense, they gave you an opportunity to meet that special someone who is going to look into your eyes and see everything they have ever wanted. Let somebody see you as the person you truly are. You deserve someone who is obsessed with you in the best, most flattering way. Never settle for anything less or think that you are unworthy. You are just as worthy as the person next to you; don’t forget that for a split second.

You should go and love yourself: When our thoughts are consumed with the affections of another person, it’s easy to become wrapped up in their life. We brush off own wants and needs, which quickly drop on our list of priorities. We allow our relationships with family and friends to deteriorate because our attention is only catered to one faulty relationship. It’s completely toxic to lose yourself when trying not to lose someone else. When this happens, you have to let them go. No one will ever love you the way you deserve unless you love yourself first.

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