Human beings are emotionally complicated and because we’re so emotionally complicated, we manage to make situations out of nothing. In reality, we should only allow ourselves to settle for one sort of love. The sort of love that is all-consuming, intoxicating, passionate and, at the same time calm, collected, caring and supportive. We should only settle for a love that embodies the definition in its purest form: to love fully, deeply and selflessly – or rather, as selflessly as humanly possible. The deepest, purest love is the love shared when both individuals give a piece of themselves to the other, but not entirely without expectation. We may not command anything in return, but because we are only human, we expect our love to be reciprocated.
The end to something that was once so good is a blow that certainly takes time to deal. But, what about the one relationship that actually never happened? The one that you put a timeless amount of effort into, only to watch it grow and amount to nothing but heartbreak. In my opinion, an “almost relationship” is worse than any relationship or breakup could be. You aren’t supposed to be single, but you’re by no means dating. You’re left stuck in an area of uncertainty, spending your days investing in someone who you aren’t even sure wants anything to do with you. They do their own thing, and your do yours. The worst realization about an almost relationship is there is bound to be a person who cares more. Pretty shitty, right?
Almost relationships are selfish. You should never be an option to anybody. If any part of you is uncertain about whether or not they want to be with you, chances are they don’t. Stop making excuses for their behavior and find someone who wants to hangout with you at times other than 1AM when they’re a bottle deep and looking for someone to keep them entertained for the night. Although they may care about you, they care about themselves more. They love that you love them. They enjoy the feeling of always having someone around. That isn’t real love, it’s selfishness.
Do not let someone take you for granted any more than they already have. There is something holding them back. This doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough or they won’t ever change, it just means you have to learn when it’s time to walk away. Relationships aren’t meant to be complicated. If two people genuinely care about each other, they’ll be together– regardless of how far away they strayed. I am a strong believer in fate. If you’re meant to be more than an almost something, it’ll happen at the right time. But, do not live in this “in between” grey area.
Never ever be afraid to go all in because someone always has too, but don’t give up so much of yourself that there’s nothing left. Being unselfish and fighting for people and doing anything to make them happy can be rewarding, but sometimes the most rewarding thing you can do for yourself is leave. At the end of the day, they’ll be worse off than you because they will have missed out on the opportunity to be loved unconditionally by someone who would have given them the world.
Thank you for being exactly what I needed at one point in my life, and thank you for making it so painstakingly clear that I was not what you needed.